Date: 1-30-26
I Wrote This on Little Purple Pills
My entire life I struggled majorly through my academics, social life, personal life etc. I struggle to absorb information, I offer very little attention to those around me, and I just can't get around to doing things for myself. For so so long, putting an idea to motion was an arduous nearly imaginary task. This year however I've seen spectacular improvement. I have straight A’s, I made more friends, I dove deep into personal hobbies that previously I didn’t have the energy for, and so much more. My solution is a little purple pill that I take every morning.
I’ve seen so much improvement and I’m very proud of the results, but I find myself frustrated?? I mean, all this change feels so separated from myself. If I miss a few days I go right back to the level of functioning I know I naturally exist at.
My meds needed to be refilled. For the past two weeks everyone has been asking what’s wrong, they say I'm “acting different,” but I’m not different. If anything I'm different when I'm medicated, I’m literally my most organic self and everyone around me is upset by it, Including me. I can’t do anything but stare far off and think and think and think about the things I want to do.
I got the refill last night. I took a pill and now everyone likes me more?? I took a pill and now I’m not behind on classwork? I took a pill and now the passion I have for writing and reading has suddenly returned? I took a pill and now I can physically do things I could only sit and think about doing? My brain can’t function at a regular pace without the meds. My brain doesn’t know how to be a person unless it has a stimulant to remind it how to act, what a joke.
An unfortunate truth that I have to live with is that I will never feel comfortable without those little purple pills.